Classroom Inspiration

Vision

This was extremely encouraging this morning as I continue to seek God and his character and vision...desiring to humble myself before Him, living to bring Him glory alone.

The Price of the Vision - from My Utmost for His Highest (Oswald Chambers)

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord . . . —Isaiah 6:1

Our soul’s personal history with God is often an account of the death of our heroes. Over and over again God has to remove our friends to put Himself in their place, and that is when we falter, fail, and become discouraged. Let me think about this personally— when the person died who represented for me all that God was, did I give up on everything in life? Did I become ill or disheartened? Or did I do as Isaiah did and see the Lord?

My vision of God is dependent upon the condition of my character. My character determines whether or not truth can even be revealed to me. Before I can say, “I saw the Lord,” there must be something in my character that conforms to the likeness of God. Until I am born again and really begin to see the kingdom of God, I only see from the perspective of my own biases. What I need is God’s surgical procedure— His use of external circumstances to bring about internal purification.

Your priorities must be God first, God second, and God third, until your life is continually face to face with God and no one else is taken into account whatsoever. Your prayer will then be, “In all the world there is no one but You, dear God; there is no one but You.”

Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to live up to the vision.

Acts 12

Last night at community group, we discussed Acts 12-13:3. Herod has just killed James, Peter is imprisoned and the Church has gathered to fervently pray. This seems to be a major setback in the growth of the Church. However, an angel appears to Peter and guides him out of prison. At first the church is in disbelief as a young girl tells them that Peter is at the gate, that he is free. Then they see and hear for themselves that God has rescued him. This miraculous wonder was another means for God to reveal his glory, character and continue to spread the gospel. There is so much to take away from the passage, but we focused on a just a few truths.

1. God's plan continues to unfold despite "setbacks" - This stood out to me the most. Setbacks can be personal...perhaps an attitude or habit that is keeping you from living in obedience to Christ or career oriented...you have a vision for the work God is calling you to, yet you seem to be a long way off from living reaching that destination. Regardless of the circumstance, God can use each setback for His glory. He may be shaping you or a community for what he has in store; preparing to use us in his grand plan to share his gospel message with the nations.
2. We are called to fervently pray in community - When do we find ourselves in fervent prayer? Typically, its when we've exhausted all of our resources and find ourselves in desperation; when we need rescuing. But is that the only time we should be in fervent prayer? Perhaps we need to spend time allowing the Holy Spirit to examine our hearts and bring us into fellowship with God more frequently; purifying our hearts and allowing God to rescue us from ourselves and situations on a daily basis.
3. God is one who rescues - Looking back over the history of mankind and his relationship with God, it is apparent that God rescues. Whether the Israelites, Moses, the Woman at the well; all of them and really every person that has ever lived needs rescuing from sin and death by the saving grace of Christ, but then we continually need to be rescued as we walk through valleys of sin in our personal lives, encounter hurt and pain from others and sometimes take a detour away from the plan that God has intended for our lives
4. Finally, I was struck by the humility of Peter and the Church. When Peter is freed from prison it isn't a big show with lights and thunder, rather the Angel quietly leads him out. He doesn't join in a big celebration with the Church when he returns to tell them the news, rather he moves on to the next place God has called him. And after the miraculous rescue of Peter, the Church goes back into worshiping, praying and fasting in order to hear from God and be guided in their next steps. In contrast, when Herod appears to a crowd and they call out to him as a god because of his sparkling physical appearance and status. He tries to steal God's glory and take it for his own, by not denying that he is not worthy of their praise. And God being a rightfully jealous God, strikes him down with severe stomach pains and he dies being eaten by worms. 

God is at work. A story of redemption has been unfolding since the beginning of time. He is using ordinary people to accomplish his purposes. Setbacks do not stop God from doing his work. He will continue to reveal his glory, draw people to him, and rescue us until His work is complete. What great encouragement, to pray and connect with God; to catch a glimpse of what he is doing and his vision for how he wants us to be a part of it even on a daily basis. Fervent prayer and fellowship with God will help lead us into humility; to the place where we are broken and realize that it is not on our power or might that God's plan unfolds, but solely on His and with the purpose to reveal His glory and nature to save the world.  

Citizen of the Kingdom

Matthew 5 – The Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

Blessed are those who thirst and hunger for righteousness, for they will be filled

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

                I attended a couple sessions of a mission conference entitled, World Madate West, this past weekend at All Peoples Church in San Diego. I was invited by a friend from school who thought I would be interested because I had a heart for missions. I don’t remember having a specific conversation with her about my passion for missions, but it is true. My thoughts frequently rest on people around the world from my time spent building relationships with people in Basque Country, Uganda, the Dominican Republic and Mexico. I have always had a dream to be on the mission field on a global level. Initially, I thought that medicine would be my door into different areas of “unreached people groups,” a term that I picked up during my Perspectives on the World Christian Movement class a few years ago. An unreached people is a people group which has no indigenous community of believing Christians with adequate numbers and resources to finish evangelizing their community without further outside/cross-cultural assistance (kind of technical, I know).

                The Great Commission, found in Matthew 28:19 says, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Jesus had just finished telling his disciples that, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” He has the authority to send us out into the nations, for his cause, to share the gospel message of this new life in Him. My faith extends far beyond my own heart, my community of friends, or even the church I attend. It is a global faith that extends to the nations.

                I was reminded of this over the weekend while listening to the testimonies of two faithful missionaries, Jimmy Seibert and Jim Yost. Both focused on a message of obedience to the purposes of God in daily life. Both had wild, awe-inspiring experiences that came about because of this daily obedience to God. Jim Yost has worked in Indonesia for years and has started various ministries among various groups of people: youth, prison inmates, prostitutes, gang members, etc. He goes out with his church members to the places where people are and builds churches from a handful of initial disciples (sound familiar?). He doesn’t wait for people to come into his church for them to hear the gospel message. He shared from Luke 10, “After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few…’” People all over our neighborhoods, cities and world are ready to hear the gospel. The Lord has supernaturally prepared their hearts to receive him, but the workers are few. Unfortunately, we aren’t going out to the places where people are to tell them about Jesus and disciple them.

                Story after story Jim shared, gave testimony to Jesus’ words. He believes that 1 in every 5 people that pass him on the street in Papua, Indonesia are ready to hear the gospel and believe. He shared of a prison ministry where they trained up leaders to disciple other inmates, which completely transformed the atmosphere of the prison. In fact, one of the inmates prayed over another inmate who had broken his leg out in the courtyard and the man’s leg was healed. Word spread of the prisoner’s healing touch and prayers and people from churches around the community, Muslims included, began bringing their sick to this prisoner to pray over. Doesn’t this sound like Jesus? He went out into the streets and met people where they were at. He used the most unlikely to carry out his purposes.

                As I read the Beatitudes this morning, I see more examples of this upside-down faith…blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, the list goes on, and goes to show that the humble, broken and those seeking after the Lord will find what they are looking for. It ends with blessed are those persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven…how am I a participant of the kingdom of heaven? Who am I talking to Jesus about? Am I obeying him daily; looking for ways to be involved in his purposes? Am I strategically, looking for ways to go out and minister to others? The Holy Spirit is definitely moving in my heart, helping me to catch a vision for the next steps of the day, week, year...it’s a pretty simple message. No need to over-think our faith. It’s about living in obedience to God and in doing so, sharing the gospel message of new life in him; discipling others into this kingdom life. Where is your mission field today?

I'm up late tonight...it's almost 1am and I still feel like I'm full steam ahead. If you know me well, you know this is unusual as I prefer going to bed by 10pm and waking up at 5:30am, since my brain operates more clearly in the morning hours.

I'm not sure if it's because I have a lot on my mind...school work (finished an assignment due Wednesday), job search (trying to find something more interesting and more full-time), processing of recent events, or keeping up to date on my friends and familys' lives via social media sites. I'm in need of sleep because I've been up since 6am today and have a busy day tomorrow with the alarm set for 5:30am and a list of tasks as long as ever.

Maybe I'm awake because I just need time to be...to listen to my favorite Pandora station, smell the scent of my favorite candle, reflect on the recent past and daydream about the near future. Without times like this to be in the present and contemplate where I am and what I'm doing, I would be rushing and spinning through life without a clear purpose. So I think I'll sit here in my room, for as long as it takes and just be (but secretly hoping that sleep comes sooner than later so that I can survive tomorrow :)

Peace. 

it does not mean to be in a place 

where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. 

it means to be in the midst of those 

things and still be calm in your heart.

(unknown)

Light!

Monday night I went down to the beach with a friend and saw this...these beautiful electric blue waves! I had recently read a story about the red tide  here in San Diego, and being the biology nerd that I am, couldn't wait to go check it out! It was absolutely magical...I couldn't help but pull up my skirt and run out into the waves just to try and get a closer look. Unfortunately, the bioluminescence was pretty far out where the waves were breaking farther from the shore. It was a spontaneous trip so I didn't have my own camera to capture the moment...sad. I've got to get better at bringing my camera with me everywhere. Isn't God's creation simply phenomenal!

On a related note, I was reminded yesterday in my devo, of the light imagery used in the Bible.

Jesus said that He is the Light of the world (John 9:5). We are told to “put on the armor of light” by clothing ourselves with the Lord (Rom. 13:12-14). And Matthew 5:16 instructs that we should “let [our] light so shine before men, that they may see [our] good works and glorify [our] Father in heaven.” 

Jesus said that no one hides a light under a basket but puts it on a lampstand to illuminate everything around it (Matt. 5:15). Our light (our actions) should point people to the One who is the Light. We don’t have any light in ourselves, but we shine with the reflection of Christ (Eph. 5:8). (odb.org)

The true source of light, Jesus, lives in us and we shine the reflection of this light in order to love others and point them to Christ. Isn't that what it's all about? 

Again in Matthew 5:14-16 from the Message, "Here's another way to put it:You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

I just love that last part...by opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God...that is my prayer, Lord help me to be a light, speaking truth and prompting others to come closer to you.

Isaiah's poetry

On my morning run today I ventured out to Sunset Cliffs and admired the vastness of the ocean, the beauty of the cliffs and shoreline. I love how being present in God's creation bonds me to my maker. I can't help but draw near to him when I see his presence in the world around me. Today that was in the view, in the landscape. Other times it's in the love, generosity, or forgiveness of friends or strangers. Regardless, I pray that my eyes would be open to seeing his work and will being done here on earth.

The Message Bible describes Isaiah as "a poet in the most fundamental sense-a maker, making God present and that presence urgent." It also says that for Isaiah, "words are watercolors and melodies and chisels to make truth and beauty and goodness." LOVE that.

So here's what I read this morning...
"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don't go back until they've watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They'll do the work I sent them to do, they'll complete the assignment I gave them.

So you'll go out in joy, you'll be led into a whole and complete life. The mountains and hills will lead the parade, bursting with song. All the trees of the forest will join the procession exuberant with applause. No more thistles, but giant sequoias, no more thornbushes, but stately pines - Monuments to me, to God, living and lasting evidence of God."

Love the imagery used to describe God's majesty!

Love

The church that I've attended the past two weeks is in a series called "Wired for Love." Today the pastor addressed three different types of love and how they pertain to the development of our relationship with God and with others. It was a good reminder that my love for God leads me into obedience. That it isn't a "good feeling" but a commitment to obey when it is the hardest...when I am fearful, unequipped, lonely, hurt, angry. Romans 12:1-3, serves as the perfect reminder, probably why I chose it as my life verse in those long ago high school days! 

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

In view of God's agape love, his unconditional, altruistic, unselfish, covental love, I choose to love in return through actively living my life in obedience to Him and His will. Not seeking out the acceptance of the world, but living in the truth that I am accepted and loved by God and that He will continue to perfect his love in me. It's not always easy to receive that agape love from our Father when we continually fall short, but it's not about us, it's about Him and His ability to love.

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:10-11

Love, it's sacrificial, unconditional. It's not about what you get out of it, but what you do in response to it. My hope is that I let God's love fill my soul, my being...spilling out to the world around me, into the lives of others so that they can experience the agape love that only comes from our loving Heavenly Father.

"And now children, stay with Christ. Live deeply in Christ. then we'll be ready for him when he appears, ready to receive him with open arms, with no cause for red-faced guilt or lame excuses when he arrives.

Once you're convinced that he is right and righteous, you'll recognize that all who practice righteousness are God's true children.

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! just look at it - we're called children of God! That's who we really are. But that's also why the world doesn't recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he's up to.

But friends, that's exactly who we are: children of God. And that's only the beginning. who knows how we'll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him - and in seeing him, become like him. all of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own."

1 John 2:24-3:3

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One month. That is how long I've been away home, living in a new city, far from the familiar and most of all far away from my loving family and friends...it sounds sad, scary, and overwhelming. But, it is far from the truth...in reality, it has been an experience of God's generosity, faithfulness and love. In losing the proximity of family and friends - their love, companionship, laughter - I'm gaining a deeper understanding of God's love for me as his child. The way he's been working in my heart to prepare me for this adventure, the way he has drawn me to himself in times of loneliness, and blessed me with a place to live and great new friends all demonstrate his marvelous love. 

I still feel like a child in my faith, but want to grow...grow into the likeness of Christ, grow into a life that brings glory to God, grow into a story that God is orchestrating to bring about his kingdom here on earth. It's  because of the love that he first had for me, that leads me to love him with my life in return. 

I feel like my head is a jumble of thoughts today...

It's been a whirlwind weekend filled with fun, laughter and reflection. Life is exciting, brimming with adventure...small and big, that I am free to pursue without fear. It's a great way to live, in freedom. Not only in the sense of personal rights and national security, but also in spiritual and personal freedom. Insecurities and fear can exist on so many different levels, keeping us from living the life that God intends...one where we are free to love, fail, confess, and forgive, constantly being transformed "from glory to glory" as we reflect the character of Christ to the world around us. 

It's my desire to live this kind of life where I am an image-bearer of Christ, reflecting his character and glory as I strive to know him more intimately and truthfully. It is a struggle, an impossibility to perfect in this life, but I am free to live in my brokenness, embracing the love, grace and forgiveness freely offered by my God. 

Romans 8 - The solution is life on God's terms (from the Message)

"The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death."

"Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them-living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end, attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life."

"But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells-even though you still experience all the limitations of sin-you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you, you are delivered from that dead life."

A verse that really struck me....Romans 8:15

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike 'What's next, Papa?' God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are."

And from Galatians 5...

"My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness.These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

So what does this life in the Spirit look like where we reflect Christ's glory? Galatians 5 continues...

"But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard - things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely"

Everyday, I fail to live this free life as I am entangled in my own selfishness, pride and will, but I will continue to strive deeper into understanding of life in Christ, in order to reflect his glory to the world around me. 

Jan 3.10 Sermon

Being back in Seattle, one thing I was looking forward to was sitting in the pew at Bethany listening to Pastor Richard teach, singing worship songs, communion, serving in the nursery...

Today I felt like the sermon was specifically directed to me...not an unusual feeling. :) The title of the Sermon was "Finding our way to Meaningful Worship." Worship being intimacy with God. He took the example of the Tabernacle found in Exodus 25-30 to describe worship, contrasting the Old Testament and New Testament approach towards intimacy with God. It is the question I was asking in my last post on salvation as life, How does one become a disciple of Christ? How do we get to the point where we are so near Christ that he moves in and through us in our day-to-day actions. It was encouraging and affirming to listen to a sermon with the same focus. I hope that the series continues to focus on the life of discipleship.

Tabernacle - The place where God resides in the OT, the place where you meet God in worship. However, with the death and resurrection of Christ we can worship God directly...the tabernacle is no longer necessary, God is approachable through Christ.

• Door - only one way to approach God's glory, must enter through to worship God in the Tabernacle. John 10:9, 14:6 - Christ is the door, He is the one and only way to the Father. Intersting point made...sometimes people walk through the door, unknowing it is Christ that allows their access to God...Abraham, Moses, etc.


• Altar of Burnt Offering - approach God through the death of another, a sacrifice on your behalf because God is infinitely loving and just. Christ's death negates the need for animal sacrifice. God giving his Son for us is infinite love. Christ's death is infinite justice. We don't serve God to gain acceptance...we are loved and accepted because of Christ's sacrifice.


• Laver - washing of hands = confession. Without confession we hide sin which leads to frustration and stagnation in the Christian life. Must confess before entering the holy place.


• Bread - 12 loaves for the priests, but in the New Testament all can feast on the bread of Christ. Appropriation...He is what we cannot be...in order for us to represent his heart.
  
• Lampstand - only light in the room. Eph. 5:1-6 moving from darkness to light so that we may shine the light of Christ...an ongoing transformation.


• Incense altar - offering to God. 2 Cor 2:18 Paul's life is an aroma to God, among men. Live life as an offering to God...people will see the character of Christ in you.
  

What is hindering me from intimacy with God? failure to accept his love just as I am, failure to confess, failure to seek Christ in my weakness, failure to serve as light in a dark world? Again...the hope is to seek Christ in order to be likened to him and share his character with the rest of the world.

Some pictures from my morning run in Packwood...

adventure

We've been in the Dominican Republic now for almost 10 days. Tomorrow we leave to return to Miami, pick up Big Blue and race home (with some sightseeing along the way) to make it back for Christmas. It's starting to sink in that the adventure is almost over. Soon I will be back to life in Seattle...not always on the move, unsure who I will meet that day, where I will go, what I will do. Slowly, I'm getting myself ready for the transition back to reality.

A couple days ago Brian and I took a couple of our team members to the capital, Santo Domingo, to catch a flight back to Seattle. We drove in the night before, ate dinner at a cafeteria style restaurant, then I enjoyed some pistachio and coffee helado (ice cream). The next day we dropped them off at the airport around 7am and then decided instead of driving 3 1/2 hours back to Barahona right away we would go to the beach. So we traded in our Fiat for a Kia Picanto and went to Boca Chica, about 15 minutes East of Santo Domingo. We were the first tourists to the beach and were directed into a parking spot and then ushered over to buy a couple of chairs, offered drinks (at 8am??? no thanks) and then sat and looked out at the beautiful ocean view. We read about the history of the DR and swam, finding manta rays, sea cucumbers, fish and anenomes along the ocean floor. It was so peaceful and relaxing. $5 later, we ordered a virgin pina colada...by far the best I've ever had and then decided we should head back to Barahona. We loaded up the car, finagled our way out of paying too much for the morning, grabbed a couple pieces of bread and spent the next few hours in the car navigating through the crazy, lack of traffic law roads of the DR. A friend had mailed us a copy of Donald Miller's new book, a book about story, and so having already finished reading the book, I read to Brian as he safely delivered us home. We were reading about a man in the book, Bob Goff, who is an inspiration by the way he lives his life, taking risks, being hospitable, basically living a great story with his family. So as we were approaching Barahona Brian noticed another white guy walking down the side of the road. I hadn't seen him, but Brian was like, "Hey, another white guy, should we stop?" and I was like, "sure! why not?" So we turned around and pulled up in front of the guy who was walking on the side of the road with two other girls. He was about our age and was walking with a Dominican and Englishman. I think they were a bit weirded out at first that we had stopped, but after the introductions followed an invitation to go swimming down at a local river. Brian looked at me and I gave him the sounds good look and we all piled into the car. We drove to the closest village, parked the car and started walking toward the river. We also met up with a few other Dominicans on the way and a ton of mosquitoes...and mosquitoes really like me...so soon I was slapping at my arms and legs left and right trying to ward them off...my only hope was to get into the water as fast as possible. So we slid in down the muddy slopes and laid out in the knee-waist deep water flowing by us. It wasn't clear...and some slippery feeling things definitely brushed against me, but it was cool, refreshing, and fun to hang out with our new friends. A little bit later we walked through a plantain field and then to a sugar cane field where one of the Dominicans chopped down a bunch of cane for us to all enjoy. We brought them back to the river and he then cut up the cane so we could suck and gnaw on the declicious sugar. Soon after, we climbed back up the bank to head back to the car. I definitely went the wrong way and in my distress to avoid the mosquitoes found myself stepping in poop...human poop for that matter, ick. That really got me going and soon I was running ahead of the group trying to out manuever the mosquitoes and find water to wash my foot off with...what a day. We get back to the car, find it won't start, because the lights were left on and I was thinking...great we are never going to get it going again...we are in the DR! It is going to be so hard to find someone, a. with a car, b. with jumper cables, and c. that will be around to help. To my surprise we were back on the road within 10 minutes! crazy! we dropped our peace corp friend, Jonathan back off at his place after munching on some yummy coconut dessert and candy and then we took the girls back to their homes in a nearby village.

It was fun to see surrounding Barahona through the eyes of other travelers. To share in their experiences and hear about the work they are doing. Because we were with Dominicans and at their swimming spot I felt more like a local rather than a tourist. I felt like I was doing what young dominicans would do on a hot afternoon. The last two times I've been in the Dominican, I haven't had the same flexibility and freedom to explore, but have been protected within the confines of the organization and their workings.

All in all, it has been a great trip. We fly out tomorrow. I am excited to be home again, although I will miss the people here and the sun!

Serenity

I woke up this morning in the cutest rustic cabin near Teton village in Jackson, WY. My internal alarm clock went off at 7:15am and I thought…I have to get up and enjoy the quiet morning. Jed, our host, is up early to go fishing and comes back in the house to tell me there are two moose in the yard! What! So cool! They are so awkward looking with knobby knees and wobbly legs frolicking (I can say that, because they really were) around the yard eating and playing…so not graceful due to their sheer size and awkward proportions.


So, I decided to sit on the deck wrapped up in my pink blanket to watch the sun slowly rise as it shines through the aspen trees and listen to the creek as it gaggles over the rocks. The sky is a clear pale blue with a few clouds lingering over the hills and the leaves on the trees are starting to turn color…fall is here. I suppose I could just take a picture, but I’ve taken so many of those as we’ve toured through Yellowstone and Teton and the picture never quite does the view justice.


I feel as though I am in Packwood (our summer place near Mt. Rainier). It is the best feeling of peace, rest and rejuvenation. The last three weeks have been fast-paced and nonstop. I feel so blessed to have such a peaceful and quiet morning to just sit, think and be.

I love you friends and family and miss you terribly!

friends forever

Jen and Family!

I love making Isa smile!

Brian and I went for a run in the morning

I gave Annalyn a headlamp so she could find all the nooks and crannies in "big blue" it was the best fort ever...I had to coax her out of it to get ready for bed!

I know it's a cheesy title, but I couldn't think of any other way to describe my friendship with Jen. I was so excited the triathlon tour was headed to Montana, that I immediately looked up the location for the YWAM base in MT, knowing that Jen and her husband of almost 6 years, Johan are currently working there. I can't even tell you how excited I was when I found out that the guys wanted to swim across Flathead Lake...and that the YWAM base was in Lakeside, right along the lake! YEAH! I get to see my absolute best friend from high school, her husband and two adorable girls! And...bonus...we stayed two nights. I couldn't have been happier!

Our time with the Besters was perfect, just what I imagined it would be. It was like no time had passed yet, there was so much of life to catch up on. It wasn't overwhelming or overbearing, but just so natural and easy to be in good conversation about life with the girls, life in montana, life as a wife, life away from family and our life experiences. It amazes me how similar we are, yet different. We went down two completely different roads after high school and yet talking to her I feel as though she can relate to and identify with so many of my experiences, thoughts, and emotions. I was so encouraged by our time spent just hanging out like friends who see each other every week and the thoughtful conversations that went a little deeper into the struggles, challenges and dreams that have made us who we are. I know that our friendship is one that stands the test of time and space. I am so thankful for the chance to have shared two days with her. I don't think she knows how much it meant to me...thanks Jen! and Johan makes a killer white chocolate mocha...my kind of guy!

encouragement

John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

Matthew 11:28-29

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls."

appreciation

C.S. Lewis on Appreciation said...
The Four Loves (Harcourt Trade: 1971), p. 13-14, 16-17.


Pleasures of Appreciation are very different. They make us feel that something has not merely gratified our senses in fact but claimed our appreciation by right. The connoisseur does not merely enjoy his claret as he might enjoy warming his feet when they were cold. He feels that here is a wine that deserves his full attention; that justifies all the tradition and skill that have gone to its making and all the years of training that have made his own palate fit to judge it. There is even a glimmering of unselfishness in his attitude. He wants the wine to be preserved and kept in good condition, not entirely for his own sake. Even if he were on his death-bed and was never going to drink wine again, he would be horrified as the thought of this vintage being spilled or spoiled or even drunk by clods (like myself) who can't tell a good claret from a bad. And so with the man who passes the sweet-peas. He does not simply enjoy, he feels that this fragrance somehow deserves to be enjoyed. He would blame himself if he went past inattentive and undelighted. It would be blockish, insensitive. It would be a shame that so fine a thing should have been wasted on him. He will remember the delicious moment years hence. He will be sorry when he hears that the garden past which his walk led him that day has now been swallowed up by cinemas, garages, and the new by-pass ... But in the Appreciative pleasures, even at their lowest, and more and more as they grow up into the full appreciation of all beauty, we get something that we can hardly help calling love and hardly help calling disinterested, towards the object itself. It is the feeling which would make a man unwilling to deface a great picture even if he were the last man left alive and himself about to die; which makes us glad of unspoiled forests that we shall never see; which makes us anxious that the garden or bean-field should continue to exit. We do not merely like the things; we pronounce them, in a momentarily God-like sense, "very good." ... This judgment that the object is very good, this attention (almost homage) offered to it as a kind of debt, this wish that it should be and should continue being what it is even if we were never to enjoy it, can go out not only to things but to persons. When it is offered to a woman we call it admiration; when to a man, hero-worship; when to God, worship simply.

Lately, my appreciations have become more centered among the relational aspects of my life. I still enjoy the beautiful sunset at golden gardens, listening to dave matthews band with the windows rolled down, and enjoying fresh baked zucchini bread. But I am becoming more appreciative of my friends and their words of encouragement, truth spoken in times of uncertainty or doubt, unconditional love, grace and forgiveness...the sum of which creates a community so rich and generous that I am overwhelmed with appreciation for the life they give me...I am because you are.

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him,'

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

for he has been good to me."

Psalm 13

inspiration

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."

Dorothy Thompson

"Nothing great has been and nothing great can be accomplished without passion."

G.W.F. Hegel

"The real damage is done by those millions who want to 'survive.' The honest men who just want to be left in peace. those who don't want their little lives disturbed by anything bigger than themselves. Those with no sides and no causes. Those who won't take measure of their own strength, for fear of antagonizing their own weakness. Those who don't like to make waves - or enemies. Those for whom freedom, honor, truth, and principles are only literature. Those who live small, mate small, die small. It's the reductionist approach to life: if you keep it small, you'll keep it under control. if you don't make any noise, the bogeyman won't find you. But it's all an illusion, because they die too, those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe?! From what? Life is always on the edge of death; narrow streets lead to the same place as wide avenues, and a little candle burns itself out jsut like a flaming torch does. I choose my own way to burn."

Sophie Scholl

resolve

Today has been out of the ordinary. Usually, my days are busy and fruitful, in the sense that I check tasks off my "to do" list and swiftly move from one activity to the next, but today was different. It all started with the fact that one of my best friends got married last night. An event that is still somewhat surreal. The day was long, a good long. Not one of those long days that you can't wait to be over, but a day that was filled with so much energy and excitement, love and celebration that you kind of don't want it to end. At the end of the night I was completely exhausted and my left eye was killing me...what started as a slight irritation turned into a complete nuisance as the day wore on, despite having changed my contacts. This morning I woke up and on my way to church had to cover my eye it was so sensitive to the sunlight. So as soon as church was done I hurried home back to my dark room where I could shut my eyes and hope the discomfort would go away. I laid there and drifted in and out of a light sleep (and I put my earplugs in, knowing Malia and Peter would be upstairs moving presents out of the house). It was good to just rest...to stop and take a time-out of sorts...to not really think about much at all except trying to sleep. When I finally got out of bed around noon, I was looking for something to make my day meaningful and productive. So I took a shower, put in my contacts (risky, I know) and headed out to greenlake to study for a bit. I kept my eyes open and on the pages of my microbiology text for probably about 20 minutes before I began to drift again into that same mode of relaxation from earlier in the morning where you drift in and out of conscious thought...but this time the sun was shining down providing warmth with the perfect breeze keeping me refreshed. I listened to David Gray sing my favorite songs and I found myself lost in a haze with no thought. No thought...no reflection, brainstorming, criticizing, dreaming, or planning. It's as though my mind was on pause and the day was just strolling by. I thought coffee might wake me up a bit, so of course I headed to zoka with study materials in hand only to find no place to sit and was forced to take my iced mocha back to the car and to my house where I found myself thinking...I should really read a good book right now, but somehow ended up browsing the web. I came across a post by John Piper. I didn't realize he was still alive...for some reason I had him categorized with C.S. Lewis and Oswald Chambers, but apparently he is still alive and preaching and has a website, which I discovered from my dad's favorite links section on his own blog called the race. The post was titled Lets make some Autumn Resolutions. I'm not a big fan of resolutions...only because I usually set myself up for failure (although I don't feel it has to be this way. It's just a matter of making practical resolutions). He starts with a quote from Socrates, "The unexamined life is not worth living." hmmm....I'm not sure why (maybe because of the uneventful day), but this struck me. The opposite is self-examination, but this cannot be practiced on its own and produce results. Examination must lead to a resolution. Our pastor at church always says. "revelation must be followed by response." It is the same idea. As we self-examine and God reveals to us insights about our life we must follow this revelation with a response, a resolution to change, improve, or continue to practice. So we plan...we make dreams, we desire change for the good, we think on how we can improve our lives. But at least for me, fear walks alongside these plans or resolutions. Fear the I will fail, that I will fall back into the same old routines and practices, that I will make the same mistakes again, that I am not capable of change. I know myself and my own strength too well. I am not invincible or capable of producing dramatic change on my own. I lose my will power, discipline and strength all too easily. So then, how do I follow through on my resolves, my plans that I feel that God has placed on my heart, revealed to me? That's just it..."I" can't. “The heart of man plans [resolves!] his way, but the Lord establishes [fulfills!] his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). We cannot depend on ourselves, but we can trust in the Lord's power in the fulfillment of our resolutions. Piper says it this way, "We resolve things not to make God be for us, but because he is already for us—that’s what his call makes plain. He opens our eyes to see and trust Christ." When I take the time to examine, to stop and listen, God reveals his plans and resolutions for my life, but that is only the first step. There is a continual need for faith and trust in Christ's power to fulfill his plans in us.
Okay...enough thought for one day...back to drifting through the haze.

Purpose

"If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, "I wonder why God allowed this or that?" And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God." (excerpt from 8/5 My Utmost for his Highest, Oswald Chambers)

The past few days I've been reading about God's plan/purpose in my favorite devotional and the words have been so appropriate for where I am at. Funny too, my pastor at Bethany Community Church wrote a post on the 1/4 life crisis after receiving an article from a concerened dad. It talks about a lack of commitment in relationships and the workplace, a restlessness, a need for adventure and change that manifests itself in the mid-20's. I completely agree with the article that a crisis exists, which I've talked about before in my own posts...very recent "life thoughts" posts. I crave change and adventure. I don't feel the need to be comfortable and secure in a career, relationship, etc. I'm not entirely sure if this is healthy or not. I'm not trying to "be" in this phase...I just am. I would love to find someone to share my life with, find a job I love, and be settled for a time, but for now, it's just not happening.

So what does this have to do with God's purposes? Well, here is a bit from a journal entry I wrote on Monday after reading about the "compelling purpose of God"

"As always for me, the bigness of God and his plans takes pressure off the smallness of me and my own plans. He ultimately is carrying out his work, which is far greater than anything I could plan on my own. How great is our God that we can trust and believe in his purposes because he has shown his faithfulness over and over again in the lives of his people."

As I enter into another phase of uncertainty in life I know that God is using it for his purposes. I am too nearsighted to see exactly what his plan is for my life, my family, my community, but I can have confidence in his soveriegnty. I have confidence that in my life experiences God is shaping me into a person that carries out his purposes almost unconsciously as I continue to live in obediance, taking on the character of Christ.